You asked for another play by play and you got it. I asked the booksellers at Brookline Booksmith for the worst romance novel they had and this is what they gave me. I know nothing about this one. For all I know, I might even love this one. Let’s begin.
Lucky number 13 on October 31. This has to be a good sign. I can’t wait.
Okay, last time Zeb sent Andrea back to Philadelphia and kidnapped Cnut, then disappeared off to do something. Supposedly Cnut knows what it is, but us readers were not given enough information, although presumably he’s going to face Jasper. Time will tell. Celie is fine and also back in Philadelphia. Andrea went galavanting off to talk to Cnut’s siblings to rescue Cnut. He walked in the door. She fainted. Boom.
This book is getting more and more forgettable as I go. I actually have to look back at my previous play by play to figure out what happened last, although I do remember that Zeb finally showed up. Wearing a turban.
Pretty princess Reynilda showed up. Andrea is jealous despite Cnut being pretty clear that he’s all about Andrea and not Reynilda. We slutshame Reynilda a lot. Thorkel and Dyna get married. Zeb asks Andrea if she wants to go back to Philadelphia. Oh, and apparently Reynilda poisons people.
Last time we were together, we discovered that Andrea and Cnut are lifemates (which is not Life Alert). Or they think they’re lifemates. I had a terrible aside about how much I hate Andrea, then Andrea can’t even hear the word “crucified” without getting all uppity, I was briefly Here For This, then there was a terrible cock-a-doodle-doo pun and more terrible sex and I was Not Here For This.
We’ve reached the tenth part of The Angel Wore Fangs and, well… it’s time to get on with it.
Last time there was more sex, weird analogies, some kinkshaming, just really awful puns, some timey wimey questions, and Zeb finally found Cnut, but didn’t kill him. Except Cnut almost killed himself by getting lost in a blizzard. Andrea is enforcing modern-day American Christian Christmas traditions on the pagan Vikings, and there is a giant tree in Cnut’s hall, which confused him. And Andrea officially said the L-word. In her head, so I guess she didn’t say it.
Last time we finally got to the sex and I shared with you Taeyang’s Ringa Linga, and I’m not even sorry. That’s pretty much it, honestly. Oh, Jasper is getting suspicious of Zeb and wants him to bring Cnut in to make up for the fact that he’s only bringing in definite sinners that they were already going to end up recruiting anyway. Also Cnut had to bite Andrea and I’m still weirded out more than a week later.
I’m starting to need these recaps more than you guys are, probably.
Previously on The Angel Wore Fangs: We referenced Outlander a lot, because why not. The Vikings knew how to cook Elizabethan white bread a thousand years before the Elizabethans existed. (I talked a lot about bread.) Andrea cooked a lot. There are Lucipires in 850s Scandinavia. Vikings apparently don’t know what bears look like. My sexprediction is chapter 14, which we will get to in this reading. Andrea’s sister has been rescued, Andrea is Cnut’s “lifemate,” Michael probably is responsible for sending them back in time, coconut tingles.