Previously on Tiger Eye: Dela has a cool magic metal thing where she can tell what old metal has been used for. Dela and Hari have kissed. Then Dela calls Roland and tells him that shit is happening, so he puts a guard on Dela’s assistant, who calls her because he’s being held hostage in his own home. They run into the Magi while they’re going shopping. A bunch of posturing ensues, Dela pisses off the Magi, and then she wakes up in her bed. Hari senses a shapeshifter near the hotel, but then they lose him. She takes a bath. Hari is just excited to have a pillow and blankets, which, oh my god, get this man some basic amenities. He needs to be kept happy. And then he is making his inner tiger wake, because Dela’s in danger and ain’t no way he’s gonna let these motherfuckers get away with this.
Previously on Tiger Eye: Dela can hear metal, and she bought a strange box that led to people trying to kill her and an extremely attractive man appearing in her hotel room. This extremely attractive man used to be a tiger, and has been horribly abused by every person that’s owned him ever, so he doesn’t trust Dela at all. But he did rescue her (unclothed from his bath) when someone tried to kill her, so that’s a good sign. Thus far, we just need to let Hari be free and be happy and just give him some cheeseburgers and let him watch HGTV. Also he’s seven feet tall.
You asked for another play by play and you got it. I asked the booksellers at Brookline Booksmith for the worst romance novel they had and this is what they gave me. I know nothing about this one. For all I know, I might even love this one. Let’s begin.
Lucky number 13 on October 31. This has to be a good sign. I can’t wait.
Okay, last time Zeb sent Andrea back to Philadelphia and kidnapped Cnut, then disappeared off to do something. Supposedly Cnut knows what it is, but us readers were not given enough information, although presumably he’s going to face Jasper. Time will tell. Celie is fine and also back in Philadelphia. Andrea went galavanting off to talk to Cnut’s siblings to rescue Cnut. He walked in the door. She fainted. Boom.
This book is getting more and more forgettable as I go. I actually have to look back at my previous play by play to figure out what happened last, although I do remember that Zeb finally showed up. Wearing a turban.
Pretty princess Reynilda showed up. Andrea is jealous despite Cnut being pretty clear that he’s all about Andrea and not Reynilda. We slutshame Reynilda a lot. Thorkel and Dyna get married. Zeb asks Andrea if she wants to go back to Philadelphia. Oh, and apparently Reynilda poisons people.
Last time we were together, we discovered that Andrea and Cnut are lifemates (which is not Life Alert). Or they think they’re lifemates. I had a terrible aside about how much I hate Andrea, then Andrea can’t even hear the word “crucified” without getting all uppity, I was briefly Here For This, then there was a terrible cock-a-doodle-doo pun and more terrible sex and I was Not Here For This.
We’ve reached the tenth part of The Angel Wore Fangs and, well… it’s time to get on with it.
Last time there was more sex, weird analogies, some kinkshaming, just really awful puns, some timey wimey questions, and Zeb finally found Cnut, but didn’t kill him. Except Cnut almost killed himself by getting lost in a blizzard. Andrea is enforcing modern-day American Christian Christmas traditions on the pagan Vikings, and there is a giant tree in Cnut’s hall, which confused him. And Andrea officially said the L-word. In her head, so I guess she didn’t say it.