Play by Play

Play by Play: The Angel Wore Fangs—Sandra Hill [pt 11]

Last time we were together, we discovered that Andrea and Cnut are lifemates (which is not Life Alert). Or they think they’re lifemates. I had a terrible aside about how much I hate Andrea, then Andrea can’t even hear the word “crucified” without getting all uppity, I was briefly Here For This, then there was a terrible cock-a-doodle-doo pun and more terrible sex and I was Not Here For This.

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Play by Play

Play by Play: The Angel Wore Fangs—Sandra Hill [pt 10]

We’ve reached the tenth part of The Angel Wore Fangs and, well… it’s time to get on with it.

Last time there was more sex, weird analogies, some kinkshaming, just really awful puns, some timey wimey questions, and Zeb finally found Cnut, but didn’t kill him. Except Cnut almost killed himself by getting lost in a blizzard. Andrea is enforcing modern-day American Christian Christmas traditions on the pagan Vikings, and there is a giant tree in Cnut’s hall, which confused him. And Andrea officially said the L-word. In her head, so I guess she didn’t say it.

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Play by Play

Play by Play: The Angel Wore Fangs—Sandra Hill [pt 9]

Part 8 back here.

Last time we finally got to the sex and I shared with you Taeyang’s Ringa Linga, and I’m not even sorry. That’s pretty much it, honestly. Oh, Jasper is getting suspicious of Zeb and wants him to bring Cnut in to make up for the fact that he’s only bringing in definite sinners that they were already going to end up recruiting anyway. Also Cnut had to bite Andrea and I’m still weirded out more than a week later.

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Play by Play: The Angel Wore Fangs—Sandra Hill [pt 8]

I’m starting to need these recaps more than you guys are, probably.

Previously on The Angel Wore Fangs: We referenced Outlander a lot, because why not. The Vikings knew how to cook Elizabethan white bread a thousand years before the Elizabethans existed. (I talked a lot about bread.) Andrea cooked a lot. There are Lucipires in 850s Scandinavia. Vikings apparently don’t know what bears look like. My sexprediction is chapter 14, which we will get to in this reading. Andrea’s sister has been rescued, Andrea is Cnut’s “lifemate,” Michael probably is responsible for sending them back in time, coconut tingles.

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Play by Play: The Angel Wore Fangs—Sandra Hill [pt 7]

We’re back and jumping right into Chapter 11.

Part six, if you missed it.

Recap: Everyone is starving. We slut-shamed Andrea a little bit. Andrea is expected to turn starving people into not starving people through the magic of chef-ery, which is like sorcery, just with whisks instead of wands. Cnut is being a better person and arranging hunting parties and cleaning soirees. He’s hearing voices in his head. Possibly Michael. Possibly he’s losing it. Also he… I’m just gonna say it. He jacked off standing over the bed looking at Andrea as she slept, so that takes a few points off his “growing on me as a person” score, ’cause, dude, weird.

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Play by Play: The Angel Wore Fangs—Sandra Hill [pt 6]

Part five lives here.

Recap: Cnut and Andrea go to Montana, which is both pretty and has farmers that let their cattle wander across the road. The ISIS ranch has already been overrun by Lucipires, and I’m fairly certain I spell that wrong every time I write it, and Cnut teletransports them back in time a hundred years or so. Then Cnut boner-teletransports them back to the Norselands and a motte and bailey castle that won’t exist for another several hundred years. Then he tells everyone to start cleaning and ships Andrea off to the kitchen. And kisses her. And proclaims her the new mistress of the motte and bailey castle that won’t exist for another several hundred years. And when they kiss it smells like peppermint and coconut.

I hate the smell of coconut.

Chapter 9

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Play by Play: The Angel Wore Fangs—Sandra Hill [pt 5]

Find part four here.

The story so far (part four summarized): Andrea is afraid of flying and babbles when she flies. Cnut kissed her to shut her up/distract her from her fear while the plane was taking off. Jasper, despite early signs, is kind of a jackass. He dressed up like John Wayne, leading to a brief, confusing moment where I thought John Wayne was a Lucipire, to tell his people that they’re going to Montana to infiltrate ISIS. Because if anyone needs to be infiltrated, it’s ISIS.

I cannot spell infiltrated right on the first try.

Chapter 7

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